So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Small penises have feelings too.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
