You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
