I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
