Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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