Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Operation Purity has been aborted
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
