her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
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