it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
