Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize