Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
