I look better un-naked...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
