i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
