White coat. Heels.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
