Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
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