I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
