Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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