Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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