We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
