so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
