She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
