your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
This is not my ceiling
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Randomize