Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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