if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
