So drunk its hurt
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
