Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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