You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Say something about gay babies.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
