i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
