Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
