I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think people are normalizing furries
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
