we're blogging at a bar
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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