I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
