"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
His nipple licking is glorious
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