Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
