I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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