yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
