I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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