there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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