apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize