why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
