her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
