dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
she looked like the before picture.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
