I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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