The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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