She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
