I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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