If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
