i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
she smelled like a LAN party
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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