All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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