I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
