the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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