There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Did I show you my penis last night?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
