Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize