I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
