SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
