You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
