just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
