can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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