dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
