I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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