Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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