Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
