My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The Olympian is in my bed
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
