some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
