When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
