i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Are these your boobs on my camera?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
