Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
