dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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