I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize